but you have no idea.
I’ve come to find that people have already formed opinions of me. Not a week goes by that I don’t hear some sort of misconception about who I really am.
“Rhea, you know you be makin’ people feel bad.”
“Rhea, you know you would have went off.”
Blah, blah, blah, jibby, jibby, jibby
Rarely are the things that people tell me what I would do correct. Apparently there’s some (semi)widely held belief that I’m just this harsh, brash, tough-as-nails person…Not totally true.
I actually think I put up with quite a bit before I finally say something to someone. I take great care when I’m having a serious conversation with those I care about, not to make them feel judged, guilty or anything that does not ultimately build them up.
However, I do tell the truth.
So sometimes they end up feeling that way anyway, but that’s not my issue. That’s theirs.
I was reading Proverbs 27:6 yesterday, which says
Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
Ah, sweet validation from the Word! lol
I’m no Bible scholar, but what I took from that was that a real friend will tell you the truth even if it hurts, but an enemy (under the guise of being a “good friend” will coddle you, make you feel good, even if secretly they believe that you’re making a bad decision. I’d rather a person be mad at me for a minute, but realize that I told them the “truth”, as best I know it, rather than be a Yes Woman and douse you with the gas you need to go down in a blaze of glory.
The Biff and I were talking about that yesterday. I often find that people tell me things, I share my opinion and if it doesn’t go along with what they already want to do, I get accused of being mean, not understanding, being “super” or judgmental. Sorry hun, but no, I don’t think it’s right for you to talk to somebody else’s man or do an insurance job on your car because you REALLY need the money. I’m just not one of those “do what you gotta do” kind of people. Dr. Laura said that when you don’t tell people the truth, it’s a selfish act because you’re more worried about your own discomfort, than how it’s going to affect the other person. “I don’t want to hurt her feelings.” ”I don’t want to make him think I’m “super”. I, I, I… I fully believe that.
Am I perfect? HECKS NO! I never claimed to be. BUT when you ask me for advice, don’t start trying to bring up my imperfections in order to validate yourself. A: That doesn’t work on me, since I’m secure in who I am and I own my own junk. B: How does the fact that I watch too much TV negate the fact that you’re burning and selling CDs from Sunday service? What ever happened to iron sharpening iron and ecouraging each other to do better and evolve? I think we hide behind the wall of “you’re judging me” because we don’t really want to deal with the real deal. Self included.
So, if telling you (what I believe to be is) the truth, makes me mean or hard to talk to then…I don’t know what to tell you, because I’m not gonna do anything else.
