Man, when I was in college, graduate school in particular, I was a BEAST on the budget tip.
It seems like I was obsessed with managing my budget. I’d work tirelessly, at any given moment to manage my $368 checks I received every 2 weeks when I worked as a graduate assistant. I’d have budget projections on the back of old receipts, inside my notebooks when I got bored in class, I even tried the budget software on Excel a couple times. But, my favorite tool of all was the yellow legal pad. I had that thing down to a science. I’d list all my bills in the margin, then list at least my next 4 checks and allocate those funds accordingly. I’d use my refund checks to pay my rent, but periodically, that would have to be factored into the allocations as well.
I’ve been trying to get back to that college student mentality. I’ve been kind of half-heartedly budgeting each check the day before I get paid and I’ve even started to give myself what I call an “entertainment stipend” of $35 per week (which I realized on the way in is way too much. $140 a month on eating out it so not the business).
Then, as I was doing my devotional on Saturday, I read
Be thou diligent to know the state of they flocks, and look well to thy herds.-Proverbs 27:23
As usual…MESSAGE
I instantly remembers those days I sat at my desk as my GA with my legal pad and got inspired. This was a time when I made $736 per month after taxes. Through the grace of God, ALL of my bills were paid at the end of the month. I never came home to my lights out. Never been in danger of having my car repossessed. Always had food in the fridge. Not saying this at all to brag. Just saying this to say that no matter how little you think you may have, if you’re actively pursuing and trying to live God’s Word, He will ALWAYS provide for you.
I said “Okay, Lord. I get it.”
I know where I made my mistake. When I got my first real, out of college job. I was making more money than I’d ever made in my life and immediately I forgot the first things I was doing that made me so successful in managing money. First thing was that once I ran out of paper on my handy-dandy legal pad, I never got another one. I ignored my checkbook ledger in favor of checking my online balance and keeping a “mental note” (#fail). I forgot that it was the little foxes that spoil the vine (Song of Solomon 2:15). I had more money, so of course I went shopping more. I went out to eat more. I hung out way more, using the excuse that pursuing education had made me a hermit and now it was my turn to get out and live.
I kept paying my bills on time. Shut-off notices were never in my mailbox, but still I had this fear and anxiety that I didn’t have when I knew EXACTLY how I was gonna spend my checks.
Now, the Word also says that if you are faithful in handling the small things, that God will make you ruler over more (Matthew 25:23). Which is exactly what He did. But, like many people in history (and present), once I got to that “mountaintop”, I completely forgot to continue with what got me there. I didn’t realize that what got me there, was also what would keep me there. It’s like with any good thing. You dress all cute, cook, clean and sit through football to get a man and then once you got him, totally flip the script! You’ll lose him, just like I lost control of my financial security.
Now don’t worry, my house isn’t in foreclosure. I’m still credit card free (**sidenote** credit cards are the devil, but I digress). As of today, I’ll be paying my car note a month in advance thanks to some savy *note NOT shady* accounting that came STRAIGHT from the Holy Spirit when I purposed in my heart to go back to those first things (Hebrews 6:1). I’m cool. I’m good. GOD IS AWESOME.
But what I didn’t have was financial peace. I had peace with my legal pad and blue, fine point pen. I knew what I had. I knew what I had to work with. And I knew what had to wait until I could afford it.
I heard someone once say that working with a budget is a poor person’s mentality. What? Huh? Anyway…
Anybody who knows me knows that I like my life (library) quiet and peaceable. Anxiety does not produce this. Financial irresponsibility can lead to financial anxiety which can lead to hasty decisions and ultimately financial ruin. Dramatic maybe, but I’m not trying to let that be me.
I still have stuff to work on. For example I cannot (will not) save a significant amount of money for anything! If I don’t have it right then, I just resign myself to not getting it. I’ll get to that issue after this one though.
For now, I’m going back to the way I was. Keepin far, far away from those dreaded credit cards. Not wasting $140 on entertainment/eating out (especially when I can cook and have cable). Shopping clearance only. Still being honest with myself (and my income) and staying away from Somerset. But most of all, I’m hitting up my local office supply and stocking up on legal pads and fine point pens.
